advice from Marcel Rufo

The point of view of Marcel Rufo, child psychiatrist

Caroline doesn’t want to see her aunt, even after her uncle’s death. What can you do, Louis? First of all, tell your sister that her attitude at the time permanently hurt Caroline, and invite her to write to her niece to open the discussion with her. If your daughter tells her aunt that she wants to see her, things will move forward. If she still refuses to meet her, you will have to wait for other opportunities to raise the idea of ​​a reunion with Caroline, hoping for a clarification.

This approach to which I invite you will in any case be positive with regard to the relationship that you and your wife have with your daughter. This would be a renewed way of showing him that you take his suffering very seriously, without trivializing his words. As for your sister, elderly and distressed by the loss of her husband, she herself might be keen to clarify the situation from now on and to get closer to your daughter. It is not a question of accusing your sister, nor of demanding an apology, but of asking her if she would agree to write to her niece, with a view to re-establishing a broken dialogue. Even though the story dates back to thirty years ago or almost.