“A sister’s smile helped me discern my vocation”

I have wanted to experience a spiritual retreat for a long time. Noisy environment, the weight of daily obligations, an overabundance of information… I felt the need to escape the hustle and bustle of Paris to refocus on what is essential. I am Orthodox, but three years ago, when a friend told me about her plan to spend a few days in a Catholic place of prayer not far from my home, I followed her without hesitation. There was exactly the calm I needed. There, I was able to clearly become aware of my concerns and confront them.

As an actress, I worked a lot to access the artistic world and cinema, without always obtaining results. Wouldn’t I be better off putting this energy at the service of my spirituality? In addition, this professional environment contains many temptations and traps; self-interested and unbalanced relationships are often formed there. Was this compatible with my faith? I was torn internally. And even though I never seriously thought about becoming a nun, the idea sometimes crossed my mind.

I was meditating in the chapel when a sister passed by. She saw me and offered me a time to talk. It was like an open door through which I had to pass! We sat in a separate room, and I immediately put down what was bothering me. I speak easily but, when I go to confession, I always have a little stress before discussing what concerns me. There, everything was peaceful within me. This sister’s smile undoubtedly helped me release some pressure. It’s strange how warm the atmosphere was in this rather cold room.

The nun spoke very little but she led me to understand that, if my vocation was to be an actress, then I could seize the opportunities given to me to bring a light to where I was. Conversely, I could rely on my faith to discern which projects to participate in, and even give depth to my roles – as has happened to me since. This conversation got me going again: it not only made me decide to practice my profession, but also to do it with more heart. In moments of doubt, I think about it and I always draw new impetus from it.