Bernadette’s manuscripts: her trip (2/3)

What upheaval in the humble life of Bernadette Soubirous since these days of grace when the Virgin appeared to her!

1858-1866

Eight years that she has not seen spinning, busy responding to the requests of the institution, the pilgrims, the mail that overwhelms her, the interior torments, the assaults of the disease: “I am tired of seeing so many world, ”she confessed in 1864 to Father Bouin.

The desire for hermitage has grasped it in those years: freeing itself from the chains of existence, being soaked in a convent, becoming “wife of God”. But the terrestrial ties are still too strong: she has not confirmed her religious vocation or chose a place of novitiate where she would feel protected from the world and all to God.

Years of physical and moral suffering, hesitations and quest. The religious communities do not hurry to welcome it: will it not be a charge for them? An “infirmary pillar”? Will popular voyeurism of which it is the object will not jeopardize the serenity of the religious order which will receive it?

Bernadette hesitates and laments herself, which is hardly her genre, because, since the appearances, she has not drawn any glory from the unprecedented event. On the contrary, he seems to have gratified him with the gift of humility, of a perfect awareness of his poverty, of the desire to be hidden, pending a sign: “I must be religious, I Do not know what order, the Blessed Virgin did not tell me. I’m waiting. »»

December 1865

Bernadette finally put an end to this expectation: “I would be so happy to be from the family of the sisters of Nevers”, she wrote to Mother Ceyrac, superior to Cahors, who sends her beneficial pills for her cough …

In April 1866, she entrusted the mistress of the novices of Nevers, Mother Vauzou, her ardent desire to join her congregation, still writes to Mother Ceyrac: “Now, I am completely decided, I propose to leave shortly. Oh ! My dear mother, let me see the beautiful day when I will have the happiness of entering the novitiate, because it must be a real sky on earth! »»

She informs everyone she meets her decision, press her entourage to leave as quickly as possible; A date is advanced: early July. On June 15, she wrote to the superior mother of Nevers to evoke her vocation and her joy to join her. The date of departure is becoming clearer: it will be on July 4. Everything was matured during these probationary years when she was keen to undergo no external pressure, if not the one she felt in her, the fruit of a personal reflection and the singular link which linked it to the Virgin Mary.

This departure far from “his dear cave”, family separation, his chosen exile, his desire to abandon himself to “the will of the good Lord”, show how the wonderful experience of Massabielle has transformed it. If the dream of hermitage, a caressing time, is abandoned, it declares, crossed by the light of God, having chosen Nevers “to hide”.

On July 3, just before spending part of the evening with his family at the Lacadé paternal mill: ultimate prayer at the cave.

Here it is, alone, in front of the anfractosity of La Roche where the Virgin Mary appeared to him. Kneeling, she is damaged in her prayer, she claims nothing, neither another appearance nor a particular blessing. Near her, the rocky echo of Gave. She only came to thank the lady for so many graces.

Everything is simple, no staging or assignment: repeating the virgin that she will hold her promises, those she will write on books which she will offer to two sisters before her departure: “Union of prayers and suffering ”. The only message from Lourdes.

In better health, she feels soothed, even intoxicated by the deep joy to join Nevers. At the mill, she also practices this prayer union with her family, she knows that she will not see them again. No sadness, however: only the certainty of love.

Wednesday July 4, in the early morning, at the hospice where she resides, all her family comes to wish her a good trip and kiss her one last time

Friends accompany him to the station. Sister Victorine, Aunt Bernarde and Toinette leave with her to Tarbes. Once arrived, she said goodbye to them and continues the trip with mother Alexandrine Roques, a short, superior, superior, and two postulants. The railroad trip is painful but it does not complain. She wears a cotton dress and a shawl on her shoulders.

At his feet, a shadow and a madras bag containing the modest trousseau that the sisters of Nevers, in Lourdes, offered him. In his hands, a rosary slowly waged. Anonymous, she meets travelers. However, they know its name as the miracles of Lourdes have spread in the country.

The train crosses country landscapes, Bernadette finds them less bushy than those of her native Béarn. Around 6 p.m., she and her companions arrived at Bordeaux station. We are waiting for them to lead them in what she will call “a palace”: the four houses of the Sisters of Nevers and seat of the Institut des Sourdes-Muettes. Near the Jardin des Plantes, it is away from the center of the city and the quays run by the Garonne.

His arrival in the community is an event. She will have to talk about appearances for the umpteenth time and lends herself with good grace. The story does not change, reported as it has engraved in it. The next day on Thursday, she walks in the garden of plants, likes her English style but prefers tropical species installed under large greenhouses …

She declares that she has nothing “found more beautiful than to see the red, black, white, gray fish” evolve in water bodies. Then she visits “by car” near the Chartrons, the Carmes church, discovers, amazed, the river, the “vessels” and the sailboats …

On July 6, driving at the train station on horseback, she runs along the quays, the alignment of the facades of Blonde stone

The train, this time, leads it to Périgueux, it arrives there at the end of the afternoon, around 6 p.m. Time to see the Consles of the Cathedral, the General Hospital, the Maison de la Mericorde, it is installed at the Congregation for a brief evocation of the appearances with the sisters, then rest because, on Saturday July 7, at 7 In the morning, you will have to join Nevers in one go. Arrival scheduled at 10:30 p.m.

She therefore discovers the Saint-Gildard de Nuit convent; The building occupied by the parent company for ten years is majestic, almost crushing. The mistress of novices and the superior mother welcome travelers.

On the main pediment, weakly lit, Mother Vauzou shows him the motto of the community, inscribed in a stone cartridge, and deciphers it: “Deus Caritas is. “Already in Lourdes, she has measured the requirement of this virtue and wants to live it all the life that will be given to her, because” the one who remains in love, remains in God, and God in him “.