In tribute to my loved ones

Around 50, I was married, happy, mother, when I received the secrets from Colette, my half-sister, a year before cancer won. At my birth, my mother had to stay for several weeks with a midwife with me-I weighed 800 g at birth-before returning to the farm. Meanwhile, my father had abused Colette, 14, child of a youth love of mom. Broken, my half-sister tried to hang himself, then was sheltered. Her story plunged me into immense guilt: if I was not born, the drama she had lived would not have taken place, I thought.

“If I was not born …” self -accusation gave me in a deadly spiral. But, twelve years later, I discovered with amazement that my father had also attacked two young relatives. Our family exploded. And my guilt gave way to a violent anger. Under the appearance of a large father, so loved in his parish, hid an attacker and a pedocriminal! I could never forgive him!

However, several meetings, signs for me of the sweet presence of God in my life, gradually teamed to me in despair. A round table on incest, first, then a conference by sister Véronique Margron. I have not forgotten the words of the theologian: “Jesus could not himself forgive his executioners. He said, “Father, forgive them.” Step by step, in particular during the 2016 jubilee and the passage of a door of mercy, I was able to move forward: “Lord, I entrust my father to you. You alone can forgive him.” »»

I was also saved by “Christians in front of incest”, a monthly prayer group, of the family pastoral, based on the Gospel*. Appeal of feeling welcomed, to hear the words of love and tenderness of our God. Joy to share a coffee and put our advances, our therapies and our pains. A Saturday, I saw a friend arriving, surprised to find myself in this place. So, I understood how much the Lord called me there. Praying in this group, daring to speak and testify for each victim, reconstructs us. “Christians in front of incest” has become a commitment in tribute to my assaulted loved ones.

* Created by the diocese of Nantes in 2014.