rescued by art… and especially laughter

January 7, 2015, 11:20 a.m. Press cartoonist Coco leaves the Charlie Hebdo editorial conference to pick up her daughter. In front of the building, two terrorists point their weapons at her. They force him to open the door. It was carnage: 12 dead, including so many colleagues she admired. Coco must now live with terrible images… and her guilt.

In 2021, she reveals her journey and her torments in a sumptuous comic strip, Draw again*. “At first, telling my story disgusted me,” she confides. I was more focused on the newspaper. It had to be continued. They wanted to silence us, the best response was to continue to open it. But the trial for the attacks was approaching. I was going to be a witness and a civil party. I had to be up to the task, precise with the facts. I started drawing them, telling myself that I would stop if I felt bad. »

His art was his “bubble” and his “branch” so as not to fall. “Trauma pulls you down. Drawing, by nature solitary, allows you to concentrate and control things. As soon as I stopped it, the images would come back and I would no longer sleep. » Did drawing save her? “Saved is a bit much. Helped, yes. It’s a chance to have a passion. » Her friends, her husband, her family and her psychologist also helped her. As well as this job as a journalist that she loves.

For her, deep down, laughter is more important than art. “I think it is laughter, more than beauty, which will save the world, because it is a sharing, a trust between the one who laughs and the one who makes people laugh. Laughter also saves you from the gravity of the world. » Beauty is, moreover, difficult to welcome when you suffer from survivor’s guilt. “For a long time I didn’t feel justified in experiencing anything beautiful. How could I kiss my husband when another had no one left to kiss? »

* Ed. Les Arènes BD, like his latest work, Signed Coco.