“Becoming a grandmother made me feel guilty…”

THE POINT OF VIEW OF MARCEL RUFO, PEDOPSYCHIATRIST

I have often heard this type of testimony from grandparents who, like you, Josette, had more or less reproduced the education they had received. Without question, families have made progress in expressing tenderness. With your grandson, you have succeeded in changing the type of relationship that you had known as a child, then adopted as a mother with your children. But here it is: this path accomplished, your regret of not having done it sooner partly eclipses your joy of being a grandmother. The guilt you feel, it seems to me, is linked not to the feeling of not having given enough to your children, but to the concern of not appearing critical of your parents. There is no place or need to criticize the education you received. We thought then that by being a little distant, we would better educate our children. However, the birth of your first grandchild did indeed represent a second chance to understand that relationships could turn out to be different. Gratitude towards your parents for the education they gave you is not incompatible with the modernity that you now demonstrate as a grandmother, Josette!