How do you find your place in supporting a loved one in a retirement home?

The point of view of Marcel Rufo, child psychiatrist

The question you ask, Claire, is twofold. It concerns the moment that all children experience when their parent is placed in a specialized establishment. Their concerns are normal after all the efforts they have made to keep him at home until then.

Rest assured: you did the right thing and the solution of bringing your father into a nursing home is logical and safe. For his part, it is interesting to note that he considers the place suitable, the staff and the speakers of quality. He is happy where he is and his request is very specific: he wants you to still be able to take care of him and thus remain dependent on you emotionally. Even if he is no longer at home, he needs to know you are near him.

A simple way to reassure him is to give him a calendar on which you indicate the times when you will come to see him and when he will have to check off your visits. There is an inevitable acclimatization time for him, for you and for the staff. During this period, try to visit your father as often as possible and be close to the professionals who take care of him. Above all, reassure yourself, Claire: this will reassure your father a lot.