I said goodbye to my idols

A serious illness changed the course of my life. Loaded with diplomas, I was starting a career in the United States and planning a romantic relationship, when everything fell apart. I see myself again, back in France, in my hospital bed: I have lost a lot of blood and am in screaming pain.

One day, the chaplain of the establishment showed up. A priest, Father Jean. My Christian education had not awakened me to spiritual life; However, around my 20s, I sometimes went to mass in this or that monastic fraternity in Jerusalem, because I appreciated the aesthetics of their liturgy. Every day, this priest sits beside me, a caring presence: “Even if you can't talk to me, I am here. » He offers to bring me communion, and little by little, a thread of conversation weaves a link between us. Besides, my life hangs by a thread, the doctors didn't hide it from my parents.

The priest leads me to reread my life: “What marked you? When you leave the hospital, what will matter? » I grew up in a region ravaged by unemployment, where villages were deserted; I heard my parents arguing about money: a strong feeling of insecurity pushed me to study far away and to work a lot to ensure a future. Too much. Father Jean makes me read the Bible.

The book of Job brings tears to my eyes: I recognize myself! Job, rich, then neglected, stripped, struggling with evil, does not accuse God. Like Job, I place myself in his hands. The experience of the Hebrews, saved from slavery in Egypt, then exiled to Babylon, also speaks to me: despite their vicissitudes, they continue to hope. Christ ? Gradually, my faith nourished by broadcasts on RCF and KTO welcomes him, image of the invisible God yet himself humbled to the cross. And then the Gospel awakens me to an ideal of justice, going against what was my race for diplomas and money, my idols.

After a long convalescence, in the midst of the financial crisis, I could not find work in France. Since then, in a dozen years, I have had four jobs in a country where there is neither Social Security nor unemployment insurance, where foreigners remain marginalized. But the layoffs hardly affect me anymore: God is present. And I see the face of Christ on that of every poor person.