Sleep. How to end the nightmare of insomnia?

“A good night’s sleep is once every four days!” says Anne-Marie, 76. “I wake up in the middle of the night and often fall back asleep around 6 a.m. What a waste!” This is a very common testimony about this scourge that is eating away at the well-being of the French and undermining their morale. According to a 2023 Ipsos survey, 63% of our fellow citizens sleep badly.

Poor sleep is one thing, but when do you become an insomniac? “As soon as there is suffering, a real effect on the day,” explains Dr. Benjamin Putois, co-author of Free yourself from your insomnia. The night will be more beautiful*. Some people who sleep only four hours a night will not be bothered by it, while others, on the contrary, will be affected by it.

This troubled relationship with Morpheus does not improve over the years, quite the contrary. “With age, sleep becomes lighter, more fragmented, this is normal,” continues the doctor. “The more health problems and worries you have in life, the less well you sleep.”

Ruminating over the hours

A heartache, worry about a child, a dismissal letter and here is insomnia that forces the door of the bedroom. Barnabé, 36 years old, independent fashion designer, met this visitor of the dark night. “One day, I found myself without a client. At first, it allowed me to breathe a little. And, after a few months, I started to worry. I who had never had any problem sleeping, I started to wake up every night around 4 o’clock in the morning.”

Anxiety is indeed one of the drivers of insomnia. And when sleep is not desired, the brain refuses to switch off, in a vicious circle. Nelly, 76, who sometimes wakes up in the middle of the night, confirms this: “Insomnia takes hold of me when I’m ruminating on something, when I’m worried. And it goes round and round, impossible to stop it, I turn in all directions, taking care not to wake my husband.”

“When I was young, I slept badly because I was worried about my future,” laments Anne-Marie, not without humor. “Now, it’s because I dwell on my past. Ultimately, the only time in my life when I slept well was when I had young children: you’re so tired then that you sleep well.”

Anxious people do not have a monopoly on chaotic nights, and there is no identikit portrait of an insomniac. An infinite number of causes can indeed ruin the night, linked to health problems (thyroid, for example), neurological or psychological.

Diet can also disrupt sleep: Anaïs, 86, identified white wine as a disruptive element. As for Martin, 42, on the contrary, it was red wine that he had to banish at dinner to preserve his nights.

Finding the right derivative

Everyone aspires to reach the wonderful land of happy sleepers. Groping, the insomniac seeks his own path… preferably a shortcut! To soothe his nights, Barnabé tries to meditate, to connect with pleasant thoughts, before falling back to sleep. For Marie, counting sheep has long since faded, she now practices belly breathing, takes magnesium cures and smears herself with essential oils before slipping into her sheets. As for Nelly, she compensates for her disturbed nights with daytime naps.

But when these “homemade” solutions prove insufficient, the insomniac needs help. In the case of temporary insomnia, a doctor can prescribe a sleeping pill. “Why deprive yourself of this crutch?” says Benjamin Putois, especially when the case is extreme.

At 25, Nicky suffered from anxiety attacks that led her to spend a month in a psychiatric hospital. Faced with her torments, she found it impossible to sleep. “The stress and the malaise gave rise to insomnia and depression. In addition to antidepressants, my doctor prescribed me powerful sleeping pills, because I couldn’t hold on like that, without sleeping.” But resorting to chemistry can only last for a while. (read box at end of article).

Nicky has now weaned herself off her medication. “I replaced it with love when I met my husband. And I adopted naturopathy and homeopathy in my life. However, I can’t say that I have found real sleep again. It would be illusory to believe that. I still have bouts of severe insomnia depending on the challenges I am going through. But I have learned to need less sleep. And whenever I can, I don’t turn down naps and lie-ins to compensate. My body has adapted and my mind is holding up.”

Succeed in beautifying your night

In concrete terms, Nicky has freed herself from a harmful injunction: “I have to sleep!” This obligation paralyzes most insomniacs, while it turns out to be counterproductive and harms their morale.

Dr. Benjamin Putois works with his patients to shift their attention away from their sleep. Rather than sadly waiting for the Sandman, he encourages them to take up an activity, even if it means pushing back their bedtime. Nelly sometimes reads or starts a game of crosswords at 3 a.m.

And if insomnia darkens life, it can also help to blacken pages. We can no longer count the literary works that have taken shape at night: in Franz Kafka, Marcel Proust, Éric-Emmanuel Schmitt or Marguerite Duras. The author of The Lover thus hailed the creative power offered by these sleepless nights: “I believe that insomnia leads to what I would call great intelligence.”

Another great insomniac before the Eternal, Saint Francis de Sales took advantage of this moment to turn to God: “Raise and extend your hands towards heaven in the night, and bless the Lord.” Thus can the night be beautified.

Anaïs, 86, has found a pleasant way to fill hers. After sleeping very well until the age of 40, sleep began to elude her. “I initially blamed it on professional difficulties. But now that I no longer work, it still takes me two hours to fall asleep and I wake up several times before morning.”

Rather than suffer her insomnia, Anaïs listens to radio programs about literature and history. “I really enjoy going to bed, it’s the highlight of my day,” she says. “In winter, I even have my hot water bottle to have a warm physical presence. In fact, I think I just don’t need much sleep!” So, giving up the fight to make peace with your insomnia is worth trying.

* With Mélinée Chapoutot, Ed. Odile Jacob, 272 p.; €24.90. Source figure: Odoxa barometer for the National Mutual of Hospital Workers.