Testimony of faith. I found my tutor

In 1987, I was 40 years old, I returned from Peru where I followed a group with a shaman, when an acquaintance said to me: “You are not well, why don’t you go to the House of Lazarus* , in Issy-les-Moulineaux (Hauts-de-Seine)? People can pray for you there. » Curious by nature, I am attracted by the proposal. This House is an association created by a Jesuit, a nun and a psychoanalyst. In particular, it offers a spiritual welcome.

Since adolescence, I have been looking for meaning in my life, a guardian without whom, like a plant, I cannot stand up straight. My father first fulfilled this role. Above all, he transmitted to me a model of intellectual success and I functioned through this ideal. Different men then took over. At 32, I became a mother. I stopped having lovers, I feel my inner emptiness more when my partner is absent. I feel like I don't exist, without substance. I tested psychoanalysis, shamanism and a number of disciplines, in vain.

At the House of Lazarus, a small team welcomes me, listens to me and prays for me in a charismatic way. Their testimonies touch me, I feel they are true. When I notice that one of them is a psychoanalyst, that she kneels before the Blessed Sacrament, I wonder. So believing is not reserved for fragile people? Seeing my mother not very stable mentally, but a sincere believer, led me to associate faith and fragility.

Ten minutes after my departure, in line 12 of the metro, I suddenly felt overcome by an immense love for the people traveling with me in the carriage! I perceive a reality that I do not know. Surprised, I even look behind me… There is nothing. Disarmed, I wonder: could there be a link with the people who welcomed me? On their advice, I began attending a charismatic prayer group. This is the starting point of a long journey. I discover a capacity for love that I did not know, the happiness of finding a family with whom I can trust, laugh and pray. I discover the flavor of friendship. I encounter Christ through humanity. For thirty-six years now I have continued charismatic prayer, and participated in sharing around the Bible.

* maisondelazare.catholique.fr – Not to be confused with the solidarity shared accommodations of the Lazare association.