The cerebral that I am …

I have always believed in God, at least by far. In high school, I got passionate about science, especially for reasoning presenting the world as a set of causes and consequences. And if everything has a cause, there must be a first one, that we can call God, I thought. But if everything is determined, my personal reactions and thoughts would be so too? This was more than confusing, and which fed a good number of conversations with school comrades.

A student in engineering school, I had neither sad alcohol nor happy alcohol, but philosopher alcohol. How many ends of the evening did I spend questioning the meaning of existence with whom wanted to share these discussions with me! During these years, a book deeply marked me: God’s formula, by José Rodrigues Dos Santos. The author concludes that creation, universe, physics formulas, bear the trace of God. This for me has reconciled science and faith, intellectually at least.

For the beautiful eyes of a young lady, and by the desire to share what the many Catholic friends I met during my studies lived, I began to participate in the student mass offered on Tuesday evening. These famous beautiful eyes continuing to attract me, I decided to go with them to the World Youth Days in Krakow (Poland).

Attending mass in full sun with 1.5 million other young people, even if they were probably not there in the name of a deep religious conviction, anchored in my heart the fact that God was present, that faith was alive. For the absolute cerebral that I am, this certainty was expressed by a feeling, not a rational demonstration.

And while the temptation remained to believe that all this was all the same a pretty fable, it was still by taking back my cerebrality that God definitively attached me to Him. During a pilgrimage to Lourdes, a miraculous told me the inexplicable story of his healing. Since that day, I have never doubted God’s action in our lives again.

Today, my friendships, sacramental life, my commitments, nourish my faith. But above all, above all, the fear of lacking God, as we would fear lacking water in a desert. From him, I’m thirsty.