Above the clouds

In May 2024, I finally carried out a project that is close to my heart: walking for four days with my best friend in the Alps. But it rains constantly – everyone remembers this gloomy month! – and it’s cold. It’s hard. The third day, soaked, we climbed in thick fog. I so want to see above the clouds. What if I asked God to push them away? No, that would be a whim. Still, the idea works for me.

At 18, readingStory of a soulby Thérèse of Lisieux, got me out of three weeks of anguish. Thérèse describes herself before the good Lord as “a child who thinks he is entitled to everything and regards his father’s treasures as his own*”.

On a daily basis, I struggle to ask in my prayer. But to ask now would be to give God the opportunity to give me this little pleasure, wouldn’t it? Like you give a chocolate cake to your child who asks for it… And if there’s nothing, it doesn’t matter. “My God, I would love to see the mountains above the clouds. » It is said.

We arrive at the summit, very cloudy. I am disappointed: I was not granted. At the shelter, I don’t sleep well: it’s cold and there are a lot of people. Around 5:30 a.m., I get up for my morning prayer time. I go out, climb a little, settle on a rock. And there, emerging from the clouds, the entire Alps range opens up to my gaze. Breathless, I contemplate this dazzlingly beautiful landscape. More beautiful than I had imagined in my dreams.

I receive it as a very direct, free message of love. Amazed, I thank the Lord in my heart, at length. Then I read God’s word for the day, as usual. Then the clouds return, and I go down towards the refuge. The next day, like the day before, was gray.

This moment touched a nerve in me: believing that God is a God of love. Believe that I am loved. An old fight in my history. I would like to choose to no longer doubt God’s love: I have had many signs of it, after all. At some point, you have to believe. And worry less about myself. Besides, I find a lot of joy in activities that involve others, at work, or when I play with children. I have received a lot, and believe I have a lot to give.

* Manuscript A, folio 66, verso.