advice from Marcel Rufo

The point of view of Marcel Rufo, child psychiatrist

You are right to want to receive all the children together, including Mary's. If you didn't do this, you would put your son in trouble. I imagine that you would nevertheless like to find an opportunity to be alone with your grandchildren. If it seems unlikely to you that their mother will entrust them to you, nothing prevents you from setting aside special time for them, when your son, his partner and their four children will be there. Depending on your tastes, you, Frédérique, could for example ask your grandson to cook a cake with him for the whole blended family. Here's a tip to isolate yourself with this child. As for you, Jean, perhaps you could garden in turn with each of the four. Or, all together, catch up on birthdays that occurred in your absence. It is about establishing moments of individualization during daily activities or leisure activities. In this way, you will relaunch a more personal relationship with Julien's children, without excluding his stepchildren. It is not a question of distinguishing siblings but rather each of the children. This is how you will experience special moments with your grandson and granddaughter.