(Meet) Bao, “16 years old, prostitute”, a teenager trapped in social networks
Bao, how did you meet Claude?
Bao: I felt very tired at this time of my life, because prostitution destroys from the inside. It’s a kind of drug. It is easy to get in, but very difficult to get out. I remember not being very receptive the day we first met.
Claudius: In 2018, a “child protection” representative asked me to talk with a minor prostitute. When I saw her, I thought she looked like a bird that had fallen from the nest. I found myself facing a very fragile young woman, which is often the case during the first meetings with the minors I receive in consultation.
In your book, you say you threw Claude’s business card in the trash after your first meeting. Why this gesture?
Bao: The educator did not explain to me why she was putting me in touch with a sexologist. I didn’t even know what this job entailed, so I didn’t feel the need to see her again. I ended up reconnecting with Claude years later when I relapsed. My family did not support me and did not try to understand how I had entered the spiral of prostitution at 16 years old.
Claudius: The young people I see do not come because they have seen the light. It is the educators or their parents who push them to consult a sexologist. When Bao came back to me, it seemed important that she understood that I was there to listen to her. The main thing I wanted her to remember in that moment was one sentence: “I believe you. »
This sentence, we feel throughout the pages that it is very important to you, Bao.
Bao: I was raped by a relative of my family when I was 5 years old. My mother didn’t believe me when I told her about it when I was 13. The first person who said to me “I believe you” was an educator. It made me feel good, because until then, all the adults were questioning my word. Denial contributed to my difficulties at school and during my adolescence.
What did your meetings consist of?
Claudius: During our first meetings, my goal was to get her to talk about herself, her skills and her qualities. In prostitution, we are not valued for the human being that we are, but for the money that we bring in. These first exchanges were exhausting, and Bao was yawning after a few minutes. It’s hard to tell stories when we’re mistreated. However, we had to talk to each other on a human-to-human basis before discussing the topic of sexuality.
Bao: Especially since I grew up in a traditional family in which it was never discussed. At school I received sex education lessons, but they didn’t go far. With Claude, we delved into the subject, she insisted a lot on the difference between envy and desire, the idea of consent.
Claudius: In schools, we talk a lot about the risks surrounding sexually transmitted infections. The question is important, of course, but above all young people want to know how sexuality is experienced and practiced in concrete terms. Asking these things prevents them from looking in pornography for a tutorial that they cannot find elsewhere.
Bao, what steps did you go through to begin your path to reconstruction?
Bao: In 2019, I filed a complaint after being left for dead by the people who exploited me. This complaint was a very important step, even if, afterward, I could no longer leave my house. A whole bunch of everyday things had become difficult: taking transport again, finding myself in places with people, going to Claude’s meetings… I understood over time that prostitution was not at all a choice. Today, I consider it to be nothing more than rape for hire.
How does the 24-year-old Bao view the 16-year-old?
Bao: I remember at that time, I saw myself staying in this world for the rest of my life. And then, as I grew up, I learned what prostitution really was. Even the friendly relationships I had with other girls were based on unhealthy competition, as everyone was trying to see who made the most money, even though some of it didn’t go into our pockets. I realized that existence could be something else entirely.
Claudius: I even heard you say that you wanted to become a child psychologist. It’s crazy how far you’ve come!
Why does this career path interest you, Bao?
Bao: A therapist followed me for a while, but she wasn’t much help. When I told her about the violence I suffered in my youth, she took me for a liar. In a way, I think I want to help children because I myself was not believed or supported enough.
And why did you agree to publicize your story?
Bao: La Croix the weekly interviewed me last year for an article on prostitution of minors. Subsequently, a publishing house offered to tell me about my journey. I accepted because we hear parents testify more often than the prostituted minors themselves. If my book can help people get out of this environment and show that it has nothing to do with the way it is presented on social networks, I would be happy. Because it is these networks that lead young people into this trap.
In what way?
Claudius: They act as powerful channels for recruiting young girls and boys, like Bao. I specify “boys” on purpose. We tend to forget them even though they represent 30% of the audience for my consultations. But social networks are also a way for prostitutes to sell their services.
Bao: Even second-hand sales sites like Leboncoin or Vinted today hide hidden offers of paid sex behind innocuous advertisements.
Is it possible to trust men again after having suffered their violence?
Bao: The distrust remains. I realized that I was often attracted to those who were like my father, who was morally and psychologically abusive. I still work through these attachment issues today.
Claudius: After everything she’s been through, I find it incredible that Bao is still capable of having this perspective. Of course, she still doubts her abilities, which is normal. The recovery process takes time, no matter the situation. But the person I see in front of me today is a magnificent young woman, with luminous eyes.
Bao: Because of the trauma I suffered, I still have difficulty waking up to go to my appointments and I sometimes suffer from insomnia; but it’s true, I’m making progress. I can better spot toxic behavior from men. And I have fewer anxiety attacks. The “cage” opened.
