A cardinal’s on -board booklet

Algeria. Easter Monday, April 21

This morning, I visit Father Robert, a Benedictine hermit who was very close to the monks of Tibhirine. Going up to him after parking my car, I turn on my phone. The news of Pope’s death amaze me. When I announce it to Father Robert, his eyes gets in tears, then “this death is delightful. It is so much, beautiful, a Monday of Easter, after having blessed the world. »»

His reflection helps me. I cut my phone and stay close to him. For noon, I join the very close Tibhirine monastery. Just before celebrating mass, I receive a summons to the first general congregation of the cardinals for the next day, 9 hours. It becomes extraordinarily real.

To mass, overwhelmed by emotion, I take back my tears badly. I have a two -hour drive to return to Algiers. I decide to take the plane at 4 am.

Rome. Tuesday April 22

Time to deposit my things at the Dominican convent in Sainte-Sabine, I enter at 9:30 am in the amphitheater where the congregation is held. Very surprised: we are only fifty, emeritus cardinals, dicaster prefects, and we settle material questions. As with family: the father is dead. How do we organize funeral? Did I rush for nothing? No. Tomorrow, the translation of François’s body will be a highlight. I would not have experienced it the same way when arriving 24 hours later.

Wednesday April 23

From the Sainte-Marthe house where he rested, we accompany the body of the Holy Father towards the Saint-Pierre basilica, going around the square. People applaud the body. Applause without screams. Deaf. This tribute touches me enormously. He lets me think that this pontificate of all dangers is successful. François typed hard, broke a lot of codes, pressed doors. Man with a tender heart with the poor could be hard, including with himself. His capacity for work, phenomenal. I see myself at the time of his election, in the living room of the bishopric of Oran. An Argentinian nun present was not particularly enthusiastic. Later, Argentinian Dominican brothers told me that the election had changed it: “The proximity to the poor, the counting is him. But in Buenos Aires, he didn’t smile. Now he smiles. It was obvious in the last weeks of his life.

Thursday April 24

Third congregation this morning. We are 113. Almost all faces are new to me. We exchange smiles, we shake hands. Nothing is done to help us get to know us better: no trombinoscope, no labels with our names, no meal organized between us. Interventions are most often in Italian. Everything is translated. I did not speak a word of Italian until last July. I took lessons because there are a lot of Italian speakers in the episcopal team in Algiers. If I had known that the pope would make me cardinal, I would have worked more. Sights are organized in the city. I realize that François is still there as long as his funeral is not celebrated. The cardinals come for the conclave, but take the time to cry the one who left.

Friday April 25

Cardinals continue to arrive. To express themselves in the amphitheater, you must press a button. We are always in organizational questions. A brief prayer opens and closes each general congregation: the minimum union. How is the conclave going? Zero training. We are told, “It has always been like that. What do we want to live? There is no program. I feel it’s up to us to take matters into hand. Are we going to discuss the mode of “conversation in the mind” inaugurated during the synod? Tomorrow, no congregation: we celebrate the funeral of the Holy Father. From Sunday will be celebrated the nine masses for the deceased pope. In Saint-Pierre. It surprises me a little: he will be buried in Sainte-Marie-Majeure. Until the end, François will have changed the situation, worn out the nerves of many. At 6 p.m., I was able to spend a long time with his body. Tens of thousands of people come to meditate. Impressive of piety, fervor. A question is tapping me: what is a pope? Why this fervor? He did not try to highlight himself.

Saturday April 26

A lot of people at the funeral mass. Difficult to hold back my tears. John Paul II was the pope of my youth; Benedict XVI appointed me bishop; François is the pope of my maturity. A father. The greats of this world are there. Donald Trump, President Macron, the King of Spain, spotted to his double meter … in front of me, Volodymyr Zelensky. At one point, I hear the buzzing of the drone that films us. The Ukrainian president jumps, looking for him. His wife takes her hand. The coffin spends one last time in the middle of the cardinals. In front of the altar of the basilica, I commit that the stone seat is now vacant. I return to Sainte-Sabine on foot. These forty minutes of journey make me feel good. Along the way, I swallow a sandwich; Young people who have come for the teenage jubilee spots me at my red cap and ask for a blessing.

Sunday April 27

No general congregation today, even if the texts on the vacancy of the apostolic seat provide that they are daily. The preconclave will really start tomorrow. I respond several hours a day to journalists who have come to cover the news. My presence in Rome gives me the opportunity to reconnect with people known last December, when I received the Cardinal Bar. Links woven via my taste for running: I had learned the existence of a community of “runners” (runners, editor’s note) of the Vatican, Athletica Vaticana, and became a member. And since this association of athletes is engaged in solidarity actions, I participated, the day after the consistory, in the service of a meal which she was preparing in a accommodation center for people on the street, very close to the Saint-Pierre basilica. I take advantage of this new Roman stay to return to serve meals. I like these concrete links with street people. They bring me a lot.

Monday April 28

Since the synod on synodality, it is the great Paul-Vi room that has housed the exchanges of synodal assemblies. But we find ourselves as usual for the fifth congregation in the amphitheater where the synods took place in their old formula. It would have been symbolic to change rooms. Exchanges in Synodal style – conversation in the mind – have not been retained. On the form, this pre -lap has a pontificate of delay. If we want to speak, we are part of the list of speakers by pressing a button, and we listen to others. There is no exchanges if not at the coffee break. This ritualized operation surprises me. We are about to celebrate a conclave, to designate the successor of Pierre. I came with enormous hopes, but must accept a kind of spiritual aridity.

Tuesday April 29

The sixth general congregation this morning opened with a meditation from Father Abbé Bénédictin de Saint-Paul-Hors-les-Murs. Since yesterday, the cardinals whose speech has arrived read their intervention, prepared in advance. Many emeritus cardinals, therefore non -voters, are expressed. This is their only way to participate in the election of the new pope. And I am touched that they make a point of honor to be there. Two of them are in a wheelchair. When a cardinal voter is speaking, he is also eligible. We don’t only listen to what he says, we appreciate what is reflected in his person. A speaking can be revealing. Basically, congregations aim to make the cardinal visible that the Lord has long prepared. This is my deep conviction.

Wednesday April 30

A presentation on the economic situation of the Holy See occupied part of the time of the Congregation of this day. The speech time counting is now appears. It is in principle five minutes. I hope that all the cardinals who wish it will be able to speak. I signed up. The Holy Spirit foils our big and small calculations. It acts through our intelligence, our prayer, our mistakes, our hopes, our smalls. At the end, we will know if we elected the right pope. And we will have elected the right pope. This is what comes out every time. Tomorrow, May 1, no congregation. I will run. A long race, that’s for sure. I took my sneakers. I also intend to take the time to return to the center held by the Sant’Egidio community, near Saint-Pierre.

Sunday May 4

No general congregation today, but two tomorrow, so that everyone can speak. I’ve been waiting to say my intervention for two days. I have also reworked it, because if we do not dialogu directly, our speaking interact, indirectly. Certain interventions arouse special attention, we feel it. Because such cardinal’s word is expected. Or because, all of a sudden, a speaker affects an important theme. But I miss the dimension of conversation. This time must be reworked general congregations as a time of speech. The teaching of a synodal church must be seen at that time. The people of God, moreover, should be represented. I hope that the next Pope will see the Constitution which settle the vacancy of the apostolic seat in this direction.

Wednesday, we will enter the time of silence: the conclave. Whoever will be elected, the Lord has already appointed it. The Pope will be with us in the Sistine Chapel, closed. It’s up to us to find it. Who will I vote in the first round? The general congregations allowed me to widen my gaze. I think of at least five possible, very different people. At one point, there will be one in white. It will be the Holy Father. It is very mysterious. We are all men, but he will have something more. It goes beyond us completely.