advice from Marcel Rufo

The point of view of Marcel Rufo, child psychiatrist

The only link you keep is with your daughter Élise, despite rather strained relations. Perhaps you will still be able to convince her to put you in direct contact with Gabin’s father, who apparently is not hostile to you, so that you can talk on the phone with your grandson. You would commit to reporting to Elise about this conversation, highlighting your desire to help each other. It all hangs by a thread, and you must be careful that your words do not reinforce your daughter’s aggression towards you.

She “punishes” you, you write. This term reflects the guilt that she seeks to return to you and that she undoubtedly feels herself as a result of her decision to leave home. In this context, your daughter took your warnings as reproaches, which only reinforced her guilt. But you can help to appease her by rehabilitating her in her own eyes: tell her that she is and that she remains, for you as for her son, her mother, even if she does not live with him on a daily basis. Then you will undoubtedly find a better relationship with her, to the benefit of Gabin.