An angel touched my forehead

The year 2016 was particularly tough. In preparatory class in an elitist establishment, I had a 2/20 average in maths, barely more in physics. However, I was not used to failure or effort, and my family expected me to join the École Polytechnique. To top it all off, I had just separated from my girlfriend, after a year and a half of dating.

The reasons for this breakup were thought out and the findings commonly shared, but we were both suffering. She was trying to maintain a connection, and I was experiencing strong influence from her. At the same time, I wondered: how could I have been so wrong? Why such a failure in my studies? In short, I was doing badly, really.

On this night, however, I had recently decided to make the faith that my parents had passed on to me my own: I no longer went to mass out of habit, but by choice and conviction. The disadvantage is that I met my former lover there every Sunday, and our conversations in the square systematically ended in violent arguments.

After yet another argument, we decided to resolve the problem once and for all the following Sunday. Internally, I was confused, feeling as guilty as a failure, and above all very far from God.

I needed him, but given my failures, I understood that he showed me no affection.

A friend asked me about what I was going through, insisting despite my reluctance. She finally concluded: “I don’t understand everything, but it doesn’t seem so bad.” Strangely, I instantly felt a surprising peace. As if an angel had touched my forehead. An opening was made in my heart: the story with my ex-girlfriend now belonged to the mercy of God, my wrongs as well as his. For the first time in a year, I slept peacefully. It was the first step towards a progressive, personal and spiritual reconstruction. The following Sunday, I experienced the dreaded meeting in peace. I no longer needed to settle scores, the story was over. We went our separate ways. I still think about it often, now convinced that I am never alone. God is always there, we are never too far from him.