“By putting myself in my victim’s place, my heart thawed”

“At the age of 15, I committed a sexual offense. This has been eating away at me for forty years. In 2023, I wanted to participate in a restorative justice action. After ten sessions with a mediator, I met a victim of facts similar to mine. His kindness was extraordinary. I even told her that I found her too kind to me. After this dialogue, I entered, as if hypnotized, a church. I fell to my knees and asked for forgiveness from the women who had their lives ravaged by an attacker. Until now, in order not to suffer when thinking about my act, I had developed a form of dissociation. I always viewed my victim as an object. It took me a while, but it finally clicked.

One day, on my bike, I thought of the victim and, for the first time, I started to cry for her. Putting myself in his place, my heart thawed. I really felt my fault. I went from guilt to responsibility. It changed everything. I never imagined that having so much empathy for others would allow me to have so much empathy for myself. I now feel connected to the pain of others. By asking for forgiveness, I found my humanity. I finally feel capable of doing good. »