“God has been patient with me”

In your book Darkness is not darknesspublished in 2023, you affirm your confidence in a God who always comes to look for us. How did he deal with you?

In every direction I went, He always came to meet me. I didn’t have a linear itinerary, I explored several paths. But I always felt blessed by God. My travels have given me a lot. In the Holy Land, I became interested in Islam and Judaism. In India, I was fascinated by Buddhism. Wherever I am, God has always accompanied me, even when I moved away from him, when I no longer went to mass, when I questioned my Christian education. He has been extremely patient with me and I bless him for that.

How does your itinerary reflect your generation?

The generation I am part of, born in the 1990s, is surrounded by darkness. Let us clarify the meaning of the word. The term is ambiguous. In the Bible, it has a very pejorative connotation: it is the darkness of evil. The darkness I talk about in my book is rather that which makes blind, which envelops those who have not yet seen the light. I want to talk about the one who searches, certainly in a groping way, but who searches. She is also the one who accompanies me. Some of my older Dominican brothers, through their experience, their roots, grew up in a world that had faith anchored to their bodies and have more certainties. They can say, without a doubt: “Jesus is truly the Son of God, and it is he who opens the doors to eternal life for us. » I also confess it but I’m groping.

Who is responsible for this break in the transmission of the faith?

A lot of people of a certain age ask me this question. Their grandchildren, often, have not been baptized or do not practice. For my part, I would not blame the upheavals of the 1960s. Even if many, at that time, no longer had the faith and therefore did not transmit it, some still remained in the Church . Full of hope, I tell the grandparents to be certain that their grandchildren are searching in their own way or will search at some point in their lives, even if the paths are more scattered than before and there is sometimes the risk to get lost.

What do we see this loss like today?

Our society levels us to the surface of ourselves. We see it in the emotional lives of young people, for example with the success of Internet dating applications, which create relationships that we do not always take care of. In work, there is this tendency to want to earn a lot of money to do what you want, to wait for vacations, or even retirement. Besides that, young people really want meaningful work, in which they can get involved. In the life of the spirit, I observe a need for transcendence which manifests itself in a dispersed way, there too. I think of artists like the singer Pomme – with her ceremonies to the Moon – or like Chris – who says he prays to Jesus, the Virgin Mary and the singer Prince, who “sends a violet light to (his) life”.

Your generation also shows a real sense of commitment, generosity…

Yes, many get involved in ecological or humanitarian projects, have concern for the poor, give to those who sleep on the street, invest in an association… It’s not superficial! Quite simply, this taste for giving is most of the time cut off from transcendence, from its source, from its foundation. This makes me think of a passage from the Book of Wisdom, in the Old Testament, where it is written that the Egyptians (which held the Hebrew people in slavery, Editor’s note ) were linked by the same chain of darkness. They contemplated the wonders of nature, the sun, the course of the stars and did not know how to recognize the Creator who was at the origin. Let us remember that it is God himself who came to meet us to contemplate us. This is the incredible reversal. And this is what I would like to say to my generation: it doesn’t take much to know the true author of what we are contemplating.

Among the false lights that you mention, there is “the subdued light of certain nightclubs”, porn… Your book addresses sexuality. Has the Church failed to speak about it correctly?

Today, it is certain, we no longer have a word on this subject. With all the scandals we carry around, people laugh in our faces when we try it… For my part, spontaneously, I don’t talk about it. If anyone questions me, I answer that I am a man, not an angel. Tensions, difficulties, this is the story of our flesh. I am not unscathed myself. And God invites himself there too. Let’s stop with the supposed angelism of people involved in religious life!

How did your own spiritual turnaround happen?

It was when I returned from India, in 2015. I went to the vespers office, at Notre-Dame de Paris. There was something like a click: “God, you are here. I believe in you. I even think sometimes that I want to give you my life. » This helped me get through my parents’ divorce that followed. As everything around me fell apart, I was convinced that God was there, that he would take care of us, one way or another.

A recent encounter that left an impression on you?

Yesterday, like every week, as part of my apostolate, I went to the brothel, located very close to the cathedral. Here in Switzerland, prostitution is legal. I came to bring these women two crates filled with food left over from the festive lunch organized for my diaconal ordination. They kissed me, we celebrated together. I think of one of them, who told me: “Thank you for coming to see me. You know, I believe in God, I’m Catholic, I know that he is there and that he protects me. Every day I ask him for forgiveness for what I do here. I know he hears me and loves me. » What more could you ask for?

You write: “One must be spiritually naked to live under the sun of grace.” That’s to say ?

Christ himself died naked on a cross. He was wrapped in a shroud and placed in a tomb that did not belong to him. There is complete selflessness in Christ, from his birth which we celebrate at Christmas until his death. And living with brothers also exposes oneself. Even if there remains an element of mystery, we cannot hide things. When entering religious life, we can be full of good resolutions, but we quickly experience our weakness, the tensions between us. Prostitutes don’t hide who they are either. There is no hypocrisy. And this is how we can open ourselves to grace.

Are you a happy Dominican?

Yes, deeply. I have ups and downs, like everyone, moments when I cry, others when I am angry. But the backstory remains joy.