“I cannot forgive my son for missing his father’s funeral”

THE POINT OF VIEW OF MARCEL RUFO, PEDOPSYCHIATRIST

NOTHING IS LOST, Nelly. On the contrary, everything begins. At the risk of disconcerting you, I believe that your mission from now on is to help your son not feel guilty about the way he acted. You are angry with him and I understand you, but remember that, deep down, he is probably just as angry with himself. If, one day, he lets you understand that he would like to pay his respects, possibly in your presence, at his father’s grave, will you still think that you have failed? What matters is that Nicolas can reconcile, through memory, with his father. The prerequisite – and it is essential – is that you continue to see your son, notwithstanding this painful moment that you experienced due to his absence at his father’s funeral. It’s up to you to welcome Nicolas without grievance, without rejection, as you knew how to accept his homosexuality. You are a perfect testimony to this: women are often the guardians of the bond in the family. By preserving the one you have with him, you will, with patience and sensitivity, help your son to move forward and one day return to the relationship he had with your husband. And you will see: you will get better too, Nelly. Be sure of it.