My two lights

When I met Nicole, she was 18 years old and great human and spiritual qualities. She was a cheerful girl. Our wedding party was very happy. After our son was born a little girl. I was 28 years old and Nicole 24. We were happy, young, and lived on my parents’ farm, in cohabitation.

When, suddenly, everything collapsed! Five days after the birth of our daughter, Nicole collapsed in maternity, swept away by a pulmonary embolism. By learning his death, I felt immense pain; A cataclysm, but no anger. At that time, there was no funeral chamber and I had to bring his body back to the house the same evening, by ambulance, leaving the baby to maternity. Nicole rested in our bed. It was like that. It was hard!

Now, while we watched it with relatives, I was suddenly crossed by a thought, a kind of intense, in short and clear interior flash, with a name: “Christiane P.” I did not know this person well. Shame and guilt invaded me: “How can I think of another?” It’s not normal! But fairly quickly, this storm gave way to deep peace. I welcomed this inexplicable message as a gift from God, a grace of the Spirit, a sign of Nicole. This name was presented to me as a hope, an uncertain little light, to help me live. I only entrusted this message to Augustin, a great priest friend.

The following months, I felt carried by the love of my family, my in-laws and the villagers. It was palpable! My relatives took care of children. It gave me the hope and the taste for continuing to live. Two years later, I dared to write to Christiane P., who lived in a neighboring village. I knew his name, but I had never seen him. After a few months, we fell in love. She really liked young children. For sixty years, we experienced a very happy wedding. Two girls came to expand our warm and united family. I waited for his death to reveal to my children the inexplicable grace that I had received so many years ago. After the departure of each of my wives, I felt a great peace. Sign of hope and the mysterious presence of God in my life.