Tie

My engineering diploma in my pocket, I go to work on a construction site in Malaysia, on the island of Penang. Heavy humidity exhausts me. In the evening, I decompress by partying. Not as much as a young Charles of Foucauld, but all the same, using superficial crooks.

I move away from the faith of my childhood. In this hyperpeopulated and connected Asia, an inner voice, irrefutable, blows me: “What if you returned to France by boat?” It is insane: I do not have the money and my experience of the sea is limited to a recreational navigation.

However, I make feet and hands to save and buy an 11 m sailboat. Not oversized for the 20,000 km of this type of trip. I am looking for a teammate: he will be the father of a friend. Soon we go and set sail for South Africa. This most full -bodied route exposes us to brutal seas. Impossible to approach the ribs. Less concerned to please, I learn to decide: there, I bar, you have to move forward.

Navigating two in reality means living a lot of solitude. We take turns. We are keen not to make noise when the other sleeps. During these seven months, I just have one email point per day – we are in 2008. With my teammate arise conflicts related to nervousness or concern. The temptation of omnipotence is halfway. Little by little, I am more sensitive to what exceeds me, the strength of the crew.

I learn to undergo. On the boat, it all depends on the elements. The color of the sky, the nights without noise, of indescribable beauty, the thunderstorms so frightening. I recognize my vulnerability. I suffer the waves. I look at them, ten, a hundred, a thousand, thousands. I was hyperactive, I observe. Seized, I contemplate creation. There, “you get closer to the essentials”, summarizes the navigator Michel Desjoyeaux. A feeling is essential in my soul and in my body: someone is there. He watches.

I arrive in Concarneau (Finistère), returned. A few months after this crossing, I feel ready to anchor myself in marriage. My wife did not know this eclipse of faith. I was told, “You came back to it for love. But in a personal relationship with God, it does not work like this. It was my sailboat that led me to this attachment to Christian life. Today, we are a foster home in the Paris region.